Movie Review: Begin Again (2013)

Begin Again was a cheesy imitation of Coyote Ugly which was an ugly picture to begin with.  The film stars Keira Knightley, Mark Ruffalo and Adam Levine and revolves around Keira Knightley's character Gretta getting into the music business after her boyfriend (Adam Levine) gets too big for his britches when he strikes it big.  

Levine's acting is left to be desired and feels like he's reading from a script.  Keira Knightley, who I usually really like gave a phone in performance  and was like a crazy person who forgot to take their meds.  as for her singing ability, or lack there of, she kept singing the same drivel over and over again with each song sounding the same.  With her recent break-up what little music there was came off as a bad remix of Alanis Morissette's "You Oughta Know".  Mark Ruffalo is first introduced as a man down on his luck just being fired from his job as a music producer.  He discovers Gretta and when approaching her his demeanor was that of a drunken homeless person and wasn't sure why she pursued the meeting he presented.  There was also the constant fear of Knightley and Ruffalo hooking up which would have been eww as he looked old enough to be her father. 

Begin Again had a bad beginning, middle and end.  It had all the potential to "go somewhere" but instead stayed put.  In short, there was no Voice to the picture and no chairs turned around  

Movie Review: Gone Girl

On the occasion of his fifth wedding anniversary, Nick Dunne reports that his wife, Amy, has gone missing. Under pressure from the police and a growing media frenzy, Nick's portrait of a blissful union begins to crumble. Soon his lies, deceits and strange behavior have everyone asking the same dark question: Did Nick Dunne kill his wife?

This was the best part of Gone Girl, it is not Ben Affleck and his expressionless acting but the bird on the bat.

Neil Patrick Harris almost gets decapitated.  It was way too violent, more than it needed to be and was borderline slasher.  Also, while we're talking about blood when Amy is released from the hospital she was dolled up with a cute hairdo and scrubs but she still has blood all down her neck.  Somehow, I don't think that's protocol.

On a side note, my prudishness also came into play as the nudity (while expected) was a little much as well, whatever happened to leaving some to the imagination.

I wasn't impressed by Rosamund Pike's performance.  She wasn't the Amy I pictured, someone more conniving and instead I just got stilted.  Although my expression throughout the movie was similar to this.

There was definitely something missing in Gone Girl and it wasn't Amy Dunne.  Gone Girl wasn't even close to amazing but rather a cluster fuck.

Psycho (1960)

Phoenix secretary Marion Crane (Janet Leigh), on the lam after stealing $40,000 from her employer in order to run away with her boyfriend, Sam Loomis (John Gavin), is overcome by exhaustion during a heavy rainstorm. Traveling on the back roads to avoid the police, she stops for the night at the ramshackle Bates Motel and meets the polite but highly strung proprietor Norman Bates (Anthony Perkins), a young man with an interest in taxidermy and a difficult relationship with his mother. ~ Moviefone

I was thirteen the first time I saw Psycho.  This was before I learned that the blood was chocolate  syrup and scared me shitless.  I probably hadn't seen this film in fifteen years, I hoped it would live up to my expectation, hoped it would translate, unlike the now comical The Birds.  Hitchcock's Psycho was suspenseful but didn't have the same "I'm too scared to take a shower" appeal to it.  

I've always kept an eye out for Alfred Hitchcock's trademark cameos, In Psycho it takes place 4-6 minutes in depending on whether you count the credits. He stands with his back to the camera as Janet Leigh brushes past him.

At first one could think this story is about Marion Crane, a pretty girl on the run who chooses the wrong turn-off and definitely the wrong shower.  In one moment we learn that it is not about Janet Leigh but about Norman Bates and his mommy issues.  It is always the quite ones you have to look out for.

Through out the movie Hitchcock keeps you guessing about the identity of Mother and what really goes on behind closed doors.  It is not until the end do we learn what's in the root cellar and even though I knew what to expect when her chair turned around I was still given a start.

Norman Bates is what makes the movie.  He is the epitome of creepy but yet I couldn't help but feel sorry for him.  He is sick and Anthony Perkins excels at delivering this. Perkins is impeccable with his lines and expressions creating an eerie tone to the film.  

It is what is said more than what is done that creeped me out more.  In fact more than the shower scene this last dialogue is what does me in.

"It's sad, when a mother has to speak the words that condemn her own son. But I couldn't allow them to believe that I would commit murder. They'll put him away now, as I should have years ago. He was always bad, and in the end he intended to tell them I killed those girls and that man... as if I could do anything but just sit and stare, like one of his stuffed birds. They know I can't move a finger, and I won't. I'll just sit here and be quiet, just in case they do... suspect me. They're probably watching me. Well, let them. Let them see what kind of a person I am. I'm not even going to swat that fly. I hope they are watching... they'll see. They'll see and they'll know, and they'll say, "Why, she wouldn't even harm a fly..."

I think it is the idea that Norman doesn't believe he  has done anything wrong or out of the norm that gets to me.

Psycho stood up much better than The Birds ever will but I think the terror of it has gone out the window, particularly when the remake was so gruesome.  We are a bit jaded to that kind of thing.  But I think there will always be people who either don't know or care that Marion Crane's blood is Hersey's syrup and will always be a little bit scared of someone who wouldn't harm a fly.

Movie Review: Dial M for Murder

In London, wealthy Margot Mary Wendice had a brief love affair with the American writer Mark Halliday while her husband and professional tennis player Tony Wendice was on a tennis tour. Tony quits playing to dedicate to his wife and finds a regular job. She decides to give him a second chance for their marriage. When Mark arrives from America to visit the couple, Margot tells him that she had destroyed all his letters but one that was stolen. Subsequently she was blackmailed, but she had never retrieved the stolen letter. Tony arrives home, claims that he needs to work and asks Margot to go with Mark to the theater. Meanwhile Tony calls Captain Lesgate (aka Charles Alexander Swann who studied with him at college) and blackmails him to murder his wife, so that he can inherit her fortune. But there is no perfect crime, and things do not work as planned. ~ IMDB

Hitchcock's Cameo -- a group photo of Tony Wendice's college days

I hadn't seen Dial M for Murder in several years and surprised me how well it has held up.

Suspense, Hitchcock's trademark and hits it on the head in this scene in particular.  Tony having to listen to his wife's certain murder was brilliant.  I chewed my fingernails at the events happening on each side of the line, torn with disgust (on Tony's part and trepidation with Margo).  It was a great balence between the two.

My one complaint is how ridiculously stupid and naive Margo Wendice was.  The beautiful Grace Kelly acts it out to a t but still annoyed me.  I just wish she was a little more than a dumb blond with a pretty face.  Otherwise, it was a great thriller only jogging my memory with "I remember this" only seconds before it happens.  Hitchcock has a way of pulling you in, losing all track of time and place, with Dial M for Murder a thrilling film.

Femme Fatale Friday: Rhoda Penmark

"A Femme Fatale, translating to "Deadly Woman" in french, is an alluring, seductive woman whose charms ensnare her lovers in bonds of irresistible desire. Often this leads them into compromising, dangerous, and deadly situations." ~ Wikipedia

Obituary:

Claude Daigle, an eight year old boy, son to surviving parents Dwight and Hortense Daigle.  During the Fern Grammar School Picnic drowned in the near by river, falling off of the peer.  Claude was a sweet boy who loved his parents dearly and had just recently won the school penmanship metal.

Obituary:
40 year old Leroy Jessup,   had been a longtime employee of Monica Breedlove, doing handyman jobs at Miss Breedlove's town apartments.  Mr. Jessup died suddenly from an accidental fire in a bed of excelsior.

These deaths were not accidental but the calculated work of a child.  Rhoda Penmark.  This Femme Fatale is an eight year old who seems wise beyond her years and comes off as the the perfect child, always wearing dresses and her hair in pigtails. Children always know how to behave in public and so does Rhoda Penmark. Playing the smarmy, cutesy cutesy girl to a T, having everyone in her presence eating out of the palm of her hand.  Everyone that is except her mother.  Parents always know their children's behavior problems right?  Christine Penmark falls victim to this behavior making her crazed and irrational, slowly discovering her daughter's true character, yet Rhoda's evilness still conquers all.

My Thoughts on The Giver Trailer

Last week I saw Transformers.  Right when you walked in the theater there was a poster for The Giver. Oh no! It is a Twilight wannabe. Maybe they're trying to draw teens who didn't grow up in the 90s. Yeah, that must be it.

 But then I saw the trailer…

Disappointment began. First off there is defiantly a larger romance between Jonas and Fiona than just Jonas' wet dream in the book. I could have lived with that, but then Rosemary, the receiver before Jonas is played by Taylor Swift. Noooo! Why would you do that to me? Rosemary would never sing a song about Romeo and Juliette living happily ever after or being 22. Lastly, I did not see any mention of Gabriel, who I've always felt is key, paramount to the story. He is the reason why Jonas leaves the community. It was the final nail in the coffin for me. A Childhood Classic was ruined in 2:34. Although don't take my word for it, decide for yourself, I'd love to hear what you think of this atrocity.



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Femme Fatale Fridays: Rebecca

 "A Femme Fatale, translating to "Deadly Woman" in french, is an alluring, seductive woman whose charms ensnare her lovers in bonds of irresistible desire. Often this leads them into compromising, dangerous, and deadly situations." ~ Wikipedia

What villainous ladies have you read of in literature?  Now's the time to give them a shout out.  Because let's face we love to route for the bad girl.  Expression of this could be in any form, hate or love mail, fan fic, quotes or a simple profile. The skies the limit. Just be sure to include what book the femme fatale comes from so we can check them out too.

 Rebecca, even though she has been dead a year her presence is everywhere.  Manderly oozes with Rebecca's power, still keeping the Mannor under a tight ship.  Mrs. de Winter was perfect, she could ride, sail, dressed to the nines and threw the most memorable parties. Rebecca intimidated the second Mrs. de Winter just because she was using her morning room, pens etc.  But the reason why she is a femme fatale is because she has done things in her past that are too horrible to name making her marriage to Maxim a sham.

Not only does the former walk the halls like the living dead, but she also lives on through Mrs. Danvers, her most devoted maid. Mrs. Danvers has run the house just like Rebecca did before her death and tries to usurp any power the second Mrs. de Winter might have had. (Mrs. de Winter always wrote her correspondence in the morning room Mrs. de Winter was most particular about her sauces).  And then there's the costume party fiasco/sabotage

Although, I think one of the best examples of the atmosphere of the house, is this clip from Hitchcock's 1940s movie.

Femme Fatale Friday: Mary Tilford

"A femme fatale, translating to "Deadly Woman" in french, is an alluring, seductive woman whose charms ensnare her lovers in bonds of irresistible desire.  Often this leads them into compromising, dangerous   and deadly situations." ~ Wikipeda

Mary Tilford, a young pupil at the Wright Dobie Boarding School from 1961's"The Children's Hour"

Dear Mary,
The lie you have told regarding your teachers, Miss Karen Wright and myself Miss Martha Dobie is very far from the truth and have never acted on said assumed feelings towards one another.  Your lies, blackmail and manipulation to teachers, students and family will not further any chances and achievements  in life you may desire as they soon become transparent.    Mary, I hope that in the future you will have learned from your heinous mistake and become a better person.  Although, as I begin to tie my bit of rope I realize that you found the one lie that had an ounce of truth to it.  Please remember, that I do not hold you responsible for my own undoings.
Goodbye Mary,
Your Teacher, Miss Dobie

Femme Fatale Friday: Brioney Tallis

"A femme fatale, translating to "Deadly Woman" in french, is an alluring, seductive woman whose charms ensnare her lovers in bonds of irresistible desire.  Often this leads them into compromising, dangerous   and deadly situations." ~ Wikipeda

Briony Tallis saw something she shouldn't.  Briony likes to tell stories.  She also likes to tell tall tales.

Her conniving ways begin upon seeing her sister  in a fountain, soaked to the skin in nothing but her undergarments.  Supposedly only seen by the estate's gardener Robbie Turner. 

Later, Robbie writes two letters to Cecilia

Letter #1
"You'd be forgiven for thinking me mad - wandering into your house barefoot, or snapping your antique vase.  The truth is, I feel rather light-headed and foolish in your presence, Cee, and I don't think I can blame the heat.  Will you forgive me? Robbie  

Letter #2
"In my dreams, I kiss your cunt, your sweet wet cunt.  In my thoughts I make love to you all day long."

Unfortunately, the second is mistakenly hand-delivered by Briony, who also reads it before the intended, causing disturbing fantasies which are vindicated after catching them in a compromising position. To complete this hellish night she points the finger at Robbie, wrongly accusing him of her cousin's rape.   

While this one summer day defines her forever, the only thing that sets her apart from other fatales is that she eventually realizes her wrong doings and spends the rest of life in shame trying to atone for them.

Femme Fatale Friday: Manon

"A femme fatale, translating to "Deadly Woman" in french, is an alluring, seductive woman whose charms ensnare her lovers in bonds of irresistible desire.  Often this leads them into compromising, dangerous   and deadly situations." ~ Wikipeda

First, I must go into a little background of Manon, she first appears in Marcel Pagnol's Jean de Florette as a young girl.  Her father, Jean, inheritances some land with a spring on it.  His neighbors are not the welcoming type and plug up the stream with the thought process of him leaving and them buying out the land hence unplugging the water source.  Jean is determined to make a go at farming and getting water to his land.  Eventually, he is killed by a blow to the head while digging a well.  Their neighbors Cesar and Ugolin Soubeyran unstop the sacred spring unknowingly wittnessed by Manon, who then swears to get revenge.

Manon has become a young adult she learns that most of the village was aware of this act but because the Soubeyrans were a prominent family did nothing. Now, she decides to take revenge on the whole town and plugs up their water supply.  She then sits back and watches the whole village suffer.

To add the sexual side to this femme fatale, unbeknownst to her Ugolin watches her bath in the mountains and begins a sick fascination with her.  Even though she finds him repulsive she still drives him crazy.

On a last note, this is one of the only femme fatales who is justified in her behavior.  As she has been truly wronged and giving her father's murderer's their comeuppance.

Femme Fatale Friday: Veruca Salt

"A femme fatale, translating to "Deadly Woman" in french, is an alluring, seductive woman whose charms ensnare her lovers in bonds of irresistible desire.  Often this leads them into compromising, dangerous   and deadly situations." ~ Wikipeda

  
Veruca Salt is a spoiled child, who is the apple of her father's eye.  When the hunt for Willy Wonka's Golden Tickets  become a world wide hunt it is only natural that Mr. Salt's company goes from shelling peanuts to chocolate.  Ultimately, a ticket is unwrapped.  Things start off rotten once entering the factory, immediately questioning Mr. Wonka's inventions "Snozzberries? Who ever heard of a snozzberry? "  Things go from bad to worse when she looks at the tour as a souvenir shop wanting an Oompa Loompa, and a golden goose.  This only leads to her becoming a bad nut and falling down the garbage chute.  Upon leaving Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory, Veruca and her father are covered in garbage.

The Amazing Spiderman 2 (2014)

I really hadn't heard much about the new Spiderman movie, and probably wouldn't have seen it except that a good friend wanted to.  A theater about thirty minutes away was having a late Thursday night showing but as I wasn't over the moon about watching it we decided to  go to our local theater tomorrow.

It started out okay, accomplishing the almost impossible --having a legit, good plot outside of the actions scenes -- or at least it did for the first half.

After Electro and Harry hooked up things started to fall apart.  It is hard to put my finger on it but Spiderman became a hot mess.  Any storyline was abandoned and action after action scene ensued.  This would have been okay if it had been done well, unfortunately it was sub par.  The special effects were lackluster at best and segments between Electro and Spiderman felt forced.  Overall it was cheesy.

Jamie Fox was the film's saving grace.  He knows how to play a crazy man, and with a substandard plot and disappointing acting he was the shinning element to the film.

At the conclusion of Spiderman I left feeling eh and was glad not to have spent the gas money.

On the Queue #2

On the Queue is a weekly post in which I highlight the movies I watched from my Netflix queue recently, to keep these posts short and sweet I am going to sum up my thoughts in one or two sentences.

Gravity (2013):  Huh?  This movie mainly consisted of Sandra Bullock floating around in her underwear and breathing heavily.  I also got a kick out of the Sandy floating in the fetal position with what looks like an umbilical cord behind her.

But I'm a Cheerleader (1999): Another huh.  I'm not sure why I took up a friends recommendation on a movie on a fictionalized Michelle Bachmann's "help centers" instead it was two hours I'll never get back

Rent (2005): I so wanted to see this despite mixed reviews but turned it off thirty minutes in.  It was just too hectic for me.

Femme Fatale: Charlotte Vale

A femme fatale, translating to "Deadly Woman" in french, is an alluring, seductive woman whose charms ensnare her lovers in bonds of irresistible desire. Often this leads them into compromising, dangerous and deadly situations." ~ Wikipeda

Femme Fatale Friday is a weekly meme to feature femme fatales in film.  Try saying that ten times fast. Considering "We Have the Stars" is a quote from Now Voyager I found it fitting to beginning with Charlotte Vale.

Charlotte Vale, poor plain Aunt Charlotte, a trailer baby and therefore must take on the responsibility of caring for her cantankerous mother.  Charlotte, the butt of family jokes and will surely die a spinster.  Until she goes to a facility for the depressed and emerges from her cocoon.  How could a women coming into her own be a femme fatale?  

She is a femme fatale because she falls for a married man and later becomes a surrogate mother for her lover's youngest daughter who also suffers from depression.  Charlotte becomes independent, with men fluttering around her.  She rebuffs these men as her heartbelongs to another, Jerry Durrance.  Upon returning from her retreat, her mother becomes bitter, resentful, and betrayed eventually being the death of her (although let me tell you, this is no loss).  The difference between Charlotte Vale and lets say Phyllis Dietrichson is that Charlotte is likable.  You actually route for her, but the qualities that open her like a dewy flower are also the ones that make her a femme fatale, Charlotte Vale is a force to be reckoned with.

A Million Ways To Die in the West (2014)

A few weeks back, I saw One Hundred Ways to Die in the West.  I had low expectations going in and coming out, they were met.  And to add insult to injury, I saw a doubleheader of suckyness by seeing Maleficent.  Here is dose two of awfulness.

 The not on sex scene was funny but they dragged it on, and on, and on not to mention the fact that every time Sarah Silverman came on screen we had to be reminded that she was a prostitute, yes we get it, she gives blow jobs for a living but do you have to wipe cum off her face in every shot.

These two just annoyed me, their romance (I felt) wasn't believable and could have done without it.

Seth MacFarlane takes things a step too far, he drags on scenes that could have been shot in half the time and could have reduced the film by 30 minutes, but no, he had to get that shot in with a character tripping and falling into the water bin.  Note: I'm not sure that actually happened but it is the general idea.

For me, One Hundred Ways to Die in the West fell as flat as his Abraham Lincoln joke at the Oscars a few years back.  This was not my cup of tea and couldn't end soon enough. 

Maleficent (2014)

I saw Maleficent last night and saying it was "pretty bad" is putting it lightly.  I kept hoping it would get better even though I knew it was a lost cause. 

I watched the movie with a friend who was equally if not more appalled than I, here are a few of the comments we whispered during the film. 

Note: comments in blue where made by said friend.

This movie is horrible

Never Mess with a Jilted Lover

"You're my Fairy Godmother." Seriously Aurora, how daft can you be, when has a Fairy Godmother ever had horns?  

That was hardly a kiss /does this mean Maleficent and Aurora are lesbians?

Flounder and Sebastian could have done it faster

Just turn into a dragon and die already!

And they lived happily ever after with the fat fairies

I want my money back

Labor Day (2013)

Labor Day had an implausible storyline and more Lifetime Movie material.  If this fast paced/on the run/love story weekend had happened in over a month's time instead of three days it may have been better (notice how I used the word may)

Another disappointment were the actors, Josh Brolin and Kate Winslet who I expected more from, it felt like they were phoning it in. I have little to say that wouldn't sound repetitive, so I will conclude by calling Labor Day ridiculous and would be much better off outside barbecuing that watching this film.

Although it did have a "Ghost" moment, you know the one.

1990s retro

A Walk To Remember (2002)

I watched A Walk to Remember after I read Nicholas Sparks novel, thus there were no surprises to the storyline.  Although the kind of books Sparks writes in general should have given a clue that not all ends well.

The acting well, no offense but it was Mandy Moore and Shane West, it was passable enough for a teen romance and weekend slumber parties.  The first forty minutes were okay, when Landon and Jamie were still on other fences of the social ladder and it added for friction and thought it had the most  depth of the entire film.

This is where the film jumped the shark.  Yes its early and Jamie and Landon haven't even hooked up yet, but Jamie's "pray" song was so incredibly sappy and Landon's puppy eyes where almost cult like or in high school speak "Jamie took her sweater off and she has boobs!"  

Landon's face above pretty much describes the rest of the movie, adding the occasional close-ups of Landon breaking down into tears and blaming his father.

The movie ends with a wedding and then *spoiler alert* she dies.  If we couldn't make it depressing enough lets suck away the little happiness the film provided.  Unlike Landon, I kept my promise and did not fall in love with A Walk To Remember.

Gaslight

In 1940 Thorold Dickinson directed Gaslight starring  Anton Walbrook and Diane Wynyard, in which a husband drives his wife slowly insane while he scours the house looking for her late aunt's hidden jewels.  This was a great thriller, with wonderful acting and pacing.  Although, I discovered this treasure by mistake, thinking I was ordering the 1943 version which won Oscars for best actress and best art direction.  This raised the question, why remake a film after only three years of it's predisesor's release?  It must be better, it just must, I mean it won two Oscars right?  

I was very disappointed with 1944's Gaslight.  As in classic 1930/40s style it was very melodramatic almost to the point of annoyance and thought parts of it dragged on, for instance I would have been fine with Paula and Gregory's courtship being a deleted scene.  There was also a busy buddy neighbor who couldn't wait to get into the home where Paula's aunt was murdered.  I felt she added nothing to the story and just wasted screen time.   I love Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman and even they couldn't save it, despite their amazingly talented efforts.  I had such high expectations for this film and was slowly deflated like a balloon.  

Why The Man in the Iron Mask is Epically Bad

The 1998 adaptation of The Man in the Iron Mask was a complete cash in after  Leonardo Dicaprio's success in Titanic (who plays Louie/Phillipe).  It's super cheesy and epically bad but it is still a guilty pleasure of mine.  Below I've listed a few reasons to explain the title of this post.

John Malkovich plays himself

Gabriel Byrne talks with an Irish accent while playing a French character

Poor attempt at romance

I wish I could have found a clip for this but the infamous "ball scene" is horrendous.

Luke I am your Father moment.  Sad attempt at sentimentality but instead is laughable.

Nooooo! I just wasted 2 hours