Remake: Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011)

 I have one question, who is Tinker, Tailor Soldier Spy?  Technically that is four questions and with that opening sentence I proclaim that I was thoroughly confused.  I went with my parents and two friends, we all had trouble remembering the name of the film we were about to see (never a good sign) and resorted to calling it Chitty, Chitty Bang Bang.  We became so accustom to its new name that we almost asked for tickets to that film.

I honestly I just don't get it.  The picture was grainy, the plot was slow and confusing but I will say the costumes were good.  As you can see I'm having trouble even writing this review.  I sat through the film wondering if everyone else was as lost or confused as I or was or was I just missing something?  Although I did pick up that two of the characters were gay I just can't remember which ones...  Fortunately all five of us were completely confused and while in the lady's room discussing it further three women behind us over heard and agreed.  I could breath a sign of relief that I was not alone.

Remember The Guy With The Whistle?

Titanic came out in 1997, it was nominated for fourteen Academy Awards, winning eleven and was a box-office sensation in its first weekend, as was "Leo-mania".

 I was in 6th grade at the time and remember there being a huge uproar because 8th graders at my school were being allowed to see the film due to learning about the sinking of the Titanic.  As Kate Winslet takes her top off in every film you can imagine the parent's reaction. 

But what about the first time I saw it?  I went several weekends after the 8th graders with my mom, brother and two friends of ours.  Both had already seen it, my friend had seen it fourteen times.  We all sat in rapture at Jack and Rose's love affair and the events leading up to the sinking.  We watched the ship disappear into the Atlantic Ocean and the couple cling for their lives.

At the time my brother was ten and didn't realize that Rose was telling the story so she couldn't have died.  Therefore, after Rose promises to "never let go"  my brother leans over to his friend and asked if she'd be all right, his response was "remember the guy with whistle?"  Well all five of us crack up at this very serious moment (I'm smiling now just thinking about it) getting dirty looks from those around us.  So while a wonderful, epic love story I also have a fond memory that I associate with Titanic.

Cleopatra (1963)

The two things it is known for is  being a bomb and having the biggest budget film at the time, starting with 2 million and spending 44 million at closing.   It is also the film in which Richard Burton and Liz Taylor hooked up.

I got Cleopatra through the library as I was unable to finish a biography on her for book club so I thought I'd cheat.  Unfortunately, that didn't work either.  I could only make it through the first disk only watching Caesar, played by Rex Harrison and Cleopatra's love affair.

Julius Caesar was epileptic, and there was a scene of him having a seizure, which was pathetic.  I am epileptic myself, and it was such a bad, inaccurate portrayal of a convulsion that I almost turned it off right then and there.  The film was extremely sexual for its time, women scantily clad in provocative positions.  There is one scene with Elizabeth Taylor in which one of Cleopatra's servants has the job of pulling down her dress whenever Liz moved so as not to show her ass-crack.

Anything positive?  The scenery and costumes  were incredible and can see why they went over budget, but otherwise it was a complete bust.